Kids Say (And Do) The Darndest Things!

After helping my aunt fry copious amounts of goat meat and cook party jollof rice with charcoal, bush woman style; a head-tie and wrapper clad me heads upstairs to rest in my Aunt's living room. My 2 years & 5 months old niece, Fl approaches me:

Fl: Auntie YG, you wee baff?
Me: No sweetie, I'm resting.

Fl: *sniffs and stares at me for 5 seconds*

Fl:Auntie YG, you wee baff.
Me: Wait, what...

Fl: *attempts to pull me off HER couch and into the bathroom*


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heading to airport to travel and attend a family function. My rambunctious 3 years and 4 months niece Sk:

Sk: Aunty YG we are going to enter aeroplane to go to Lagos! Mummy can we take the train? See that train! *points to an SUV on the EXPRESSWAY*
Mama Sk: Train? Where did you see train?!

At the airport now, my battalion of a family constituting a nuisance as usual. None more than my lovely Sk:

Sk: Mummy, mummy see aeroplane! *mother hangs head in shame*

Sk: *at the check-in counter* Mummy I am hungry, you didn't give me breakfast!
Mama Sk: *hangs head in shame* When we sit down I will give you your food

Sk: *opens food warmer* Ahn ahn, I said I wanted POTATO not CHIPS!
Sk: You did not put egg, I don't want ketchup! *mother hangs head in shame*

Sk: *proceeds to start dancing to someone's ringtone*
Mama Sk: *hangs head in shame* Sk behave my friend!
Me: *starts laughing*
Sk: *turns to me* Aunty YG, you have started abi? You have started?
Me: *hangs head in shame*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My aunt heavily scolds (Read: screams at) her 6 year old daughter, Uh for refusing to turn off the TV and going to bed like she was told. This ensues next:

Uh: *sniffles* Mummy I am not happy
Mama Uh: *mutters* You don't have to be happy, just sleep
Uh: You are always shouting at me, its not good, don't you know I have feelings?
Mama Uh: *shocked*
Uh: Mummy I have feelings, everybody in the world has feelings, you have feelings, don't you know I have my own feelings?
Mama Uh: *astounded* feelings kwa?! *makes a mental note to cancel their DSTV subscription the next day*



~~~~

YG