Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Today, Just Today...

From: Gabriela.Gibb@sonymusic.com


Your MAIL ID has been PICKED to collected $750,000.00 in the JUMBO COMPANY give away price as the lucky WINNER. send info To OUR claim's email: (jumb-ward@outlook.com)

Me: God will punish you thoroughly! Idiot, how can you be a successful scam artist if you can not even spell?! Oloriburuku, omo radarada, ode, olodo oshi!

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At beauty salon, couple of days ago, fixing my hair.
Barber: Aunty, please you fit tell your husband or father or brother make dem come dey barb their hair for here.
Me: Okay I will.
Barber: Also, I go soon start dry-cleaning business for here, abeg you go dey patronise me, infact give me your number so I go call you when I don start
Me: Err, I'm sure I will notice when it opens...
Barber: Your number na 080-wetin?
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22:05 that same night, 3 missed calls from Barber earlier, my phone rings.
Me: *groggy* Hello?
Barber: Aunty good evening na me....
Me: I'm sleeping! *disconnects call*
                                       ----------------------------------------
Today, phone rings.
Me: Hello?
Barber: Aunty na me, good morning, sorry about that day...
Me: It's okay...
Barber: ...I just say make I tell you say if your sister children need lesson teacher, I sabi teach maths and English and Science...
Me: *removes phone from ear and stares at it in wonderment*

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Yesterday 4:30pm, phone rings.
Someone: Please I'm in a bind etc...can you just loan me NX?
Me: I'm broke too, I don't have that amount of money, but I can send you something little towards your issue.
                                      ----------------------------------------
 Today, phone rings.
Someone: Thanks for yesterday but now I'm in an even bigger bind; please please can you find some money to help me?
Me: I know you heard me yesterday when I said I didn't have and just helped you out of the little I had...
Someone: I know, I know look...how about I give you my phone? If you don't get your money back before Friday, you can sell it, it's worth...
Me: *removes phone from ear and stares at it in wonderment* Then sell your frigging phone already!


All this before 1pm?! Me - 0, Universe - Knock Out.



~~~~
YG

11 comments:

  1. Gosh, that is hilarious!! Nigerians are CRAZY. Sadly I've been a victim of this sort of behaviour myself as well.

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  2. still laughing. nice blog you've got here... thanks for passing through my blog, have a swell November!

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  3. Truly, why can't the person sell the phone instead of using it as "deposit" .

    Thanks for stopping at my "yard"

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  4. Buahahahaha...iz a lie!! All that drama under 24hrs?? I kaint!! Lol.

    ...thanks for dropping some sugar by mines ;)

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  5. LOL! Naija! Life is just full of drama...thanks to the ridiculous people around us that make up the characters!

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  6. Only in Naija. That your Barber is something else. Some pple just dont know when to quit.

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  7. Lmao....I love your blog. Ultra hilarious. please drop by mine and follow back
    www.negrifille.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. LMAOO.....truly really, YG 0 - Universe Knock out! What a hilarious read!

    ReplyDelete
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