Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Today, Just Today...


Your MAIL ID has been PICKED to collected $750,000.00 in the JUMBO COMPANY give away price as the lucky WINNER. send info To OUR claim's email: (

Me: God will punish you thoroughly! Idiot, how can you be a successful scam artist if you can not even spell?! Oloriburuku, omo radarada, ode, olodo oshi!


At beauty salon, couple of days ago, fixing my hair.
Barber: Aunty, please you fit tell your husband or father or brother make dem come dey barb their hair for here.
Me: Okay I will.
Barber: Also, I go soon start dry-cleaning business for here, abeg you go dey patronise me, infact give me your number so I go call you when I don start
Me: Err, I'm sure I will notice when it opens...
Barber: Your number na 080-wetin?
22:05 that same night, 3 missed calls from Barber earlier, my phone rings.
Me: *groggy* Hello?
Barber: Aunty good evening na me....
Me: I'm sleeping! *disconnects call*
Today, phone rings.
Me: Hello?
Barber: Aunty na me, good morning, sorry about that day...
Me: It's okay...
Barber: ...I just say make I tell you say if your sister children need lesson teacher, I sabi teach maths and English and Science...
Me: *removes phone from ear and stares at it in wonderment*


Yesterday 4:30pm, phone rings.
Someone: Please I'm in a bind etc...can you just loan me NX?
Me: I'm broke too, I don't have that amount of money, but I can send you something little towards your issue.
 Today, phone rings.
Someone: Thanks for yesterday but now I'm in an even bigger bind; please please can you find some money to help me?
Me: I know you heard me yesterday when I said I didn't have and just helped you out of the little I had...
Someone: I know, I know about I give you my phone? If you don't get your money back before Friday, you can sell it, it's worth...
Me: *removes phone from ear and stares at it in wonderment* Then sell your frigging phone already!

All this before 1pm?! Me - 0, Universe - Knock Out.



  1. Gosh, that is hilarious!! Nigerians are CRAZY. Sadly I've been a victim of this sort of behaviour myself as well.

  2. still laughing. nice blog you've got here... thanks for passing through my blog, have a swell November!

  3. Truly, why can't the person sell the phone instead of using it as "deposit" .

    Thanks for stopping at my "yard"

  4. Buahahahaha...iz a lie!! All that drama under 24hrs?? I kaint!! Lol.

    ...thanks for dropping some sugar by mines ;)

  5. LOL! Naija! Life is just full of drama...thanks to the ridiculous people around us that make up the characters!

  6. Only in Naija. That your Barber is something else. Some pple just dont know when to quit.

  7. Lmao....I love your blog. Ultra hilarious. please drop by mine and follow back

  8. LMAOO.....truly really, YG 0 - Universe Knock out! What a hilarious read!


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